#gaanaru homophobiclanguage rejection marriageproposals IchaIchaYaoi lust red redasafavoritecolor briefhomophobiclanguage

[johannepetereric]

Hairs are Genetic: Part 1

Morning of Day 1 of the Chunin Exams...

Naruto: *yawn* I feel like I should bring flowers today.

Naruto goes to the Yamanaka Flower Ship to buy a whole friggin’ bouquet, particularly red flowers. Later, with meeting Gaara...

Gaara: Kankuro, let him go.

Naruto: *holds out the bouquet of flowers* Will you marry me? Red is bestest color! *heart pounding ridiculously loud*

Kyuubi scoffs inside the mindscape.

Gaara: *squints* No.

Naruto: *depression cloud, squatting on the ground* My life is over as I know it...

Sakura: Eh?! NO GAYNESS! *about to hit Naruto*

Gaara: *envelopes her arm in sand, tightly, painfully* However, leave him be. He is honest. *turns back to his siblings* Let’s go.

Temari and Kankuro: Eh?! Ok, sir!

Naruto: *snapping out* Waaait! I’m Naruto Uzumaki! What’s your name, Your Hotness?!

Temari and Kankuro: *scared for their lives* *hightails it outta there, leaving a large dust cloud behind them*

Gaara: *faces Naruto in the eyes* Gaara no Sabaku. Do not be mistaken, Naruto Uzumaki. I will kill you later. Just not now.

He walks away...and Naruto reverts to his depresson cloud. He doesn’t recover until he sees the fight with Lee.

Naruto: Should I root for Gaara-Senpai, or for Lee? I want Gaara’s babies--Kyuubi said I could--but Lee is a comrade...

Once he sees Lee lost and hospitalized, Might Guy stopping the attack, Naruto’s heart beats faster. He adjusts his collar, suddenly feeling hot, his stomach making somersaults in itself.

Naruto: So sexy...*smirks, turned on by the sight of red (blood)* I’ve decided. I’ve met my soulmate. Forget Sakura-chan--she’s not red enough.

Throughout the Chunin Exams, all Naruto could think of is Gaara, replacing Sakura in his mind. Kyuubi, in the ditch, coming into his mindscape, inquired further about the baby thing.

Kyyuubi: Gaki, I’m a demon. Of course if you bottomed, you could carry babies.

Naruto: *twerking victory dance*

Naruto and Kyuubi bond over lusty feelings, and that Naruto loves Kyuubi’s red chakra.

Before leaving his mindscape, Kyuubi says one last thing.

Kurama: Gaki, call me Kurama. Bring up your love to “Ero-Sennin,” and he might consider making a novel out of it.

Naruto nods vigorously, Kurama and him being on friendlier terms now. The Jinchuriki does indeed bring it up to Jiraiya. Jiraiya is crying pride, silently thinking his pride to the heavens.

Jiraiya: Minato, your son is just like you. Maybe Namikazes have a thing for redheads after all!

Once he leaves, Jiraiya sets out to create an Icha-Icha Yaoi series. A year into the 3-year training, Naruto gets the first copy. Also, disclaimer to “a gay-baka all grown-up”

During the battle against Gaara, Naruto cannot stop his boner and get scolded by Gamabunta for it (”This is not the time for your pubic antics, baka!”). Naruto uses “defeat” instead of “kill.” When Gaara and Naruto were face-to-face, bleeding to death on the ground, instead of calling Gaara a friend, he whispers “Will you marry me, Senpai?” Gaara just sighs exasperatedly, smiles softly, and says “I’ll think about it, Naruto-kun.”

Gaara barely though about it during the three-year timeskip, but...

During the rest of Naruto (not Shippuden. I mean, in the filler episodes between losing to Sasuke and coming back from the 3-year training trip), Naruto and Gaara meet multiple times for missions. Naruto is a serious flirt while Gaara is being a tsundere/kuudere about it.

Clarifying the Sakura sitch...

Just before Sakura sends Naruto out to retrieve Sasuke...

Sakura: *tries to punch Naruto*

Naruto: *dodges it, narrowly receiving further brain damage* What the hell, Sakura?!

Sakura: * fists pointed star Naruto* WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?! AM I SUDDENLY NOT ENOUGH FOR YOU ANYMORE?!

Naruto: *waving his hands like Xs* Y-Yeah, Sakura! I’m not as interested in you. Pink isn’t exactly the best color! RED IS BESTEST COLOR! Sorry-not sorry, Sakura! At least you have more time to seduce *cringes* Sasuke!

Sakura: *fisted hands on her waist* Fine, Naruto-Baka!

Sakura’s speech stays.

(Yes, Author-San saw the end of the Naruto series—even the filler. I love the final arc of that series, where Gaara is rescued—yes, even before becoming Kazekage. That also includes flirting. That is the first time that Gaara truly accepts this love radiating from Naruto)